"Lucky" Girls

Growing up as a child of new generation in Nepal is lucky enough for us. Lucky in a sense that many of the evil social practices like “Sati Pratha” have already been abolished.”(Sati Pratha was an ill practice in Nepal, in which a widow needed to cremate herself alive along with husband’s burning pyre). It was my first response after watching the latest Nepali movie Jhola, based on a story by popular Nepali writer Krishna Dharabasi. Ill practices like ‘Sati Pratha’ existed in Nepali society once upon a time. Our generation could never imagine that it’s the same society where we talk about gender and equality today. Limited within the course book of Social Studies in school and mentioned in grandmothers’ bed stories, I was partially informed about this evil custom and never cared much. But, Jhola has portrayed a clear picture of the bitter reality of the then society which was more than a hell for many women. Girls of this generation are fortunate for being born late; at least they are not compelled to burn themselves alive.

Young activist Kalika Siwakoti, who works for street children, said that she felt tortured to know that her fore-mothers should give up their life in a mere assumption of being freed from sins. “How could men be such cruel to form such practice for their own mothers, wives and daughters? After all they too are born from the womb of same women”. True indeed ! We don’t find any connection between burning alive and being free from sins in scriptures or holy writings. If it was so, why husbands were not asked to burn along with wife’s dead body and be freed from sins? Yes, we noticed about it in religious story “Swasthani”, when Sati (wife of Lord Shiva) burned herself alive in for the love of her husband. 

Saniya KC, a grade 12 science student shares her feelings of being safe to have been born and raised in the current society. She adds, “If I was in that dark society, I would have never followed this tradition, rather would never marry in my whole life”. She watched the movie with her family, and shares it was very difficult to handle her grandmother who recalled those old days and cried in pain. The film created such a buzz in the market that the general Nepali movie-hating urban teenagers to fifty plus parents and grandparents have flocked to the theaters. Jhola depicts a real scenario of erstwhile Nepali society, making us feel sorry for the pathetic condition of women.



67 years old Ramadevi Uprety, who hails from Birtamod, Jhapa watched any movie for the first time in her life after huge insistence of her grand-daughters. With tear-filled red eyes, she expressed, “My grandmother too gave up her life due to this evil ritual. And my mother used to pray to God everyday and every night to grant her death sooner than my father. Thanks to Prime Minister Chandra Shumsher Rana who abolished this inhuman system in 1977 BS—my mother lived for so many years even after my father’s death.”

A little girl is taught from her very childhood that her future husband is a supreme and godly figure and she should even be ready to sacrifice her life for him. She nods to it for being a good daughter. Later, she gets married and follows same principles in life. She agrees for being a good married woman. She fulfills her every responsibility and duty towards her husband, children, family and home without raising a single voice. She accepts being a good wife and daughter-in-law. And later, when her husband leaves the earth, she needs to burn herself at any cost, following the custom and ritual made by the same husbands, same fathers and same sons. And yet again, she follows the evil custom just for being a woman. This patriarchal society has created and divided so many roles for women only to make them suffer, not only while alive, but also during death. Women are solely bestowed with the gift of reproduction and strength of love, affection, endurance and patience by nature. But the so-called customs and rituals created by the patriarchal society always make women’s life miserable, either physically or mentally, in names of different rituals and in different forms. 


Thank god! The society has transformed now. We find such monstrous practices like Sati Pratha only in history and in films, not in reality. Modern girls enjoy freedom and independence. They are free to gain higher education, express opinions, can work out of home and away from family, can decide career as per choice and have no such obligation for choosing a husband or raising a family. They are not treated as the ‘other’ but having their own identity. They are free to live their life as they wish. 






Our generation is safe from getting burnt alive; we girls are blessed to be in this modern civilization. However, being lucky in this particular case is not enough. Women are not burned alive along with husband’s funeral pyre but they are still compelled to undergo different forms of torture and violence. After all it’s a man-made society and the practices and behaviors, customs and rituals, traditions and rules are built to subjugate women. Modern girls are hopeful that such a society would be created where no discrimination and violence against women exists. 

Published on Republica,  2014-03-01

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