Promise to self

Today, I vow to self, again

like yesterday, as last time 

when I had fallen several times
when I had felt low

screamed in midnight, cried for long
emotionally barren, perhaps

when I saw no rays of hopes
till the end of horizons

when I couldn't gather confidence
surrendered self to the lord

fought with fate, in anger
when I found life meaningless

no ways ahead to walk or run
no holding hands, no moral support

neither a goal to grab
aim to fulfill, game to win

when everything was falling apart
leaving me alone in the world

I decided to stand, fight with life
As similar I do today, a promise to self

Come around

When I will be in distance
will your heart go fonder
as mine? I always wondered.

When I will be falling down
scattered, torn, in pain
will your hands hold me or not ?

Helpess, I stand alone
waiting to see your shadow around
rays of love, close to me

Heart goes hovering
as taylor swift says in white horse,
"Why don't you come around?"

Painful Goodbyes

Everything was all set, wonderful 

life had been more beautiful

love was there, just perfect
you, me and beautiful dreams

until you walked away

with no goodbye, forgetting our way
broken was hope, my heart
scattered into numerous pieces

words forgotton, promises gone
blind trust turned blur, then dark
life became empty, all meaningless
you left, memories were honest, all stayed

faith, belief, affection disappeared
sweet moments turned bitter
lost were compassion and emotions
puzzles and doubts, sense of terror

love for me became a 'game' for you
world was mine, rule became yours
'loyalty' remained as only a mere word
fake, lie, cheat, betrayal all over

love turned to hatred, joys to pain

mornings and nights, eyes turned wet
tiring wait, weeks and months
new you, changed you, no more same you

no more love dramas, but wound inside

deep, painful, cureless, life-long
empty life, incomplete wishes, broken heart
I gifted love, you took everything in return

yet, no regrets or complains, no hatred
love was eternal, its yet unconditional
pure, powerful, selfless, divine, true
nothing to gain, only to suffer

tears for me, wishes, prayers for you
barren me, paradise is just for you
you will realize my love someday as
"whatever you give, comes around"

Its you, only you

When I first met you

I was sure its you, only you
none was in life, nor could anyone be
King of my soul and its key

all my fears disappeared

gone were insecurities, way cleared
those dark eyes, desperate and deep
Oh I murmured no more sleep

you were in sky blue, me in dark red
was hovering in dark, caught you as shed
God chosen us, special was festive ocassion
love was the one and only reason

when I first touched you
Was sure its you, only you
no touch could be same again, no second thought
no more coldness, felt a shake within heart

when I first kissed you
felt of 'we',not me or you
was wandering in this lonely planet
found a world, no pin drops of hate

life was like a desert, dry and rough
let you off from mind turned tough
only you in life, in heart, in mind
24/7 deep and lost,they say love is blind

waked up, you as first thought
off to sleep, you as last thought
you in books, you in class, you in food
all the moments, swinging my mood

no sleep, no thirst, no hunger
sweetness hidden even in little anger
jealousy, quarell, fighting all thought a part
impossible even to imagine, to get apart

cheerful I was, sadness and pain lost
bound by faith, hope, trust
dreamt of you, dreamt of only 'us'
billions out there, single you in universe

all the time, thanked to fate
found you, nor soon, nor late
love was pure, unconditional, selfless
until you turned me into ashes

Where you lost ?

I searched you everywhere
to have your single glance

to look deep into your eyes

to find my all anwers within

I searched you in shades and lights

looked behind flowers and trees
seeked you in dusk and dawn
got tired, but found nowhere

I searched you in every celebration

looked in temples and parks
seeked you behind every coffee shop
hopeless again, no hints of yours

I searched you in all novels and heroes
looked after every words
seeked you in dreams every night
you were not there, not here

I searched you in crowd
from start to end, top to bottom
looked behind mountains and rivers
eyes were wide, but you got lost

I waked up to search you in sunrise
I waited to find you in sunset
I counted all stars of sky for you
I walked miles and miles

Tired, frustrated, devastated
with no more energy and courage
found a key to my all questions
you were smiling, silent in my heart

न दिनु पर्ने थियो केही, न लिनु पर्ने थियो केही

आज फेरि तिम्रो नाम मा दिन बिताये
मिठा सम्झना मा कालो रात कटाये

तिम्रै शब्द हरु मनन गरेेे
सोचे, कहिले पो एक वचन काटेे र
तिम्रै कसम हरु सम्झिये
सोचे, कहिले पो बिश्वास तोडे र

तिम्रै न्यानो स्पर्श को अनुभूति गरे
सोचे, कहिले पो आफ्नो ठानिन र
तिमीले देखायेका बाटा समाये
सोचे, कहिले पो हिड्न बिर्सिये र

मन मा तिमिलाइ मात्र बास दिये
जीवनमा सबै भन्दा अग्लो स्थान दिय

उ नजिक थियो, आज धेरै टाढा भयो
मन मा अ्मिट छाप छोडेर बिलायी दियो

आफै ले रचेका शब्द भुल्योे
खायेका कसम भुल्यो
त्यो मीठो स्पर्श भुल्यो
अनि सङै हिडेका बाटो भुल्यो

न दिनु पर्ने थियो केही
न लिनु पर्ने थियो केही

आज फेरि तिम्रो नाम मा दिन बिताये
मिठा सम्झना मा कालो रात कटाये